(no subject)

[amicably_absent]

Glitch had been absent for two days.

Moreso than in the usual way, he had spent two days with the alchemists and medics and Raw, the comforting presence of his friend connecting him to the current problem.

They'd talked it over. Him, the alchemist and Ambrose. Except he and Ambrose didn't really talk, being as how he was Ambrose, except that he wasn't and that was really part of the problem, except when it wasn't.

It was enough to give anyone a headache.

He had asked them to give him time. To think about it. Everyone had agreed to give him his space and he had gone to think.

Thinking, as it turned out, meant sitting up on the railing of a balcony, looking over the O.Z. and finding that for once, he didn't glitch and forget.

The one time he wouldn't have minded it.

Comments

[amicably-absent.livejournal.com]

"You think it's hard for you. You should try it from this end. But I feel better today. I think it's all the time in contact with-"

He goes quiet. "We finished the assessment today."

[less-hugging.livejournal.com]

"I don't think it's hard for me." He looks at Glitch squarely. "I know it is. First hand."

He shrugs. "But I can't imagine what it's like for you. Even trying would be stupid."

Glitch's change of mood makes him quiet down his next line of thought, quelling it before he could get worked up. Today is not a day for hot-headed banter.

"How did it go?"

[amicably-absent.livejournal.com]

"There's... damage. Expansion of the membranes from insufficient pressure maintainence in the tank. Some of the brain has unravelled, but they don't think it's affected us." Switching pronouns constantly, fluidly. Brain, us, him, it.

"The saturation levels have been changed. They can't reduce the compaction to normal levels." He knows Cain won't understand that. "They can only refit some of the brain. The rest will have to stay in the tank. I can have my long term and short term recollection repaired, or I can have the processing abilities of that side of my brain back. Memories or thoughts."

Remember and glitch. Forget and think.

[less-hugging.livejournal.com]

As Glitch talks, fancy scientific phrases mixed with layman's terms, Cain slows down; step by step. None of it makes any sense, and yet it fills him with the sense that he should have expected it. It's typical. There's never an easy way out, and there's no such thing as second chances.

Memories or thoughts.

"Hang on. So, you either keep your memories and get back what you've lost, or...you start with a clean slate?"

Both options fill him with ice water. He's going under, even if he isn't moving an inch anywhere but outside. Where there's sunshine and wild animals and the bustle and commotion of a land rebuilding itself through the hard work of its people.

Damn it.

[amicably-absent.livejournal.com]

"It's, they can complete my memory centres, which means I'll remember. Things. Everything, maybe, but I'll still glitch, badly. Have trouble thinking. Not be able to work things out. Or they complete the processors. There's some damage still, they can't promise a recovery, because my memories will still have big old holes in them, and I might forget things, even if I can work them out.

"But the glitches will lessen. I'll still be me. Remember, what I do now. I guess. I'll think better. Like I do after longer session with Ambrose, but I won't ever-"

He won't remember what he's lost. Except when he has a Viewer and the tank. No more memories than he currently has. But less glitching and better thoughts. "I told them I wanted to think. But I think I know what I want. What Glitch and Ambrose want."