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[amicably_absent]

Glitch had been absent for two days.

Moreso than in the usual way, he had spent two days with the alchemists and medics and Raw, the comforting presence of his friend connecting him to the current problem.

They'd talked it over. Him, the alchemist and Ambrose. Except he and Ambrose didn't really talk, being as how he was Ambrose, except that he wasn't and that was really part of the problem, except when it wasn't.

It was enough to give anyone a headache.

He had asked them to give him time. To think about it. Everyone had agreed to give him his space and he had gone to think.

Thinking, as it turned out, meant sitting up on the railing of a balcony, looking over the O.Z. and finding that for once, he didn't glitch and forget.

The one time he wouldn't have minded it.

Comments

[less-hugging.livejournal.com]

It's one thing to go missing for two days. It's another thing to go missing that long because you're having your brain put back in place at a later date and things need to be hashed out. Specifics, like.

It's another thing entirely to go missing after those two days have passed.

But with some time and effort, Cain manages to track down his friend.

"Hey."

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Glitch is still sitting on the railing, feet safely hooked in the metal scrollwork and hands folded in his lap.

He doesn't look back. He doesn't seem surprised, either. "Evening, Wyatt."

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"We were worried about you."

He walks up and leans his elbows on the railing, watching the scenery. He'd been volunteered by DG to go looking for Glitch, but he didn't mind, neither at the time nor right this moment.

"Come on, Glitch. We're taking a walk."

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"I didn't hide where I was. I just- needed to think for a while," he said softly. "I needed time in my own head, by myself."

But he reached back for Cain, for balance while he got down from the railing.

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"Of course you didn't. That's the secret to not getting caught."

He lets Glitch hold on as he gets his feet back on the ground, even keeps a hand lightly pressed to his shoulder, in case. You can never be too careful at these heights.

"If you need some more time alone..."

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Shrugging, Glitch shoves his hands into his pockets as he steps away from the edge. "No, I'm..." He sighs softly. "I don't think I could take anyone else. But I'm okay with a walk with you. Where are we going?"

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"Outside."

Nowhere in particular. It's just a walk, and some fresh air, and if need be, no words at all.

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"Can we stop by my room? I need a warmer coat."

There was a wealth of information in that little query.

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"Sure we can."

First stop, private rooms of the Queen's Advisor.

Not knowing what to say, or how to say it, Cain clenches his jaws and keeps on walking. Maybe he'll know what to say once they get outside. Maybe he won't need to.

Life would be so much easier if you didn't have to bother with words.

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At the very end and not one moment sooner does Cain let out his held breath. He doesn't see that there's actually a choice to make. It isn't a choice anyone should be forced to make, but that holds true for a lot of choices the past fifteen annuals.

And through it all, he can't for the life of him fathom why he's filling up with such anger.

"You guess?"

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"It's not an exact science, Wyatt!" And if Cain's angry, Glitch just seems helplessly frustrated by it all. "Debrainment's meant to be a one way street, so no, I don't know! I don't know if I'm going to wind up frying my brain worse than it already is or if I'm just going to wind up back at square one every day!"

He takes several angry steps, then turns, coat twisting and swinging around him and stalks back. "I'm more scared 'n I was facing down the Papay, but I can't not try, so yes, I guess my memory will stay pretty holey and funny but at least I might be able to dress myself in less than half an hour."

He steps away, turns around and back in Cain's face. "At least I might be able to dress myself in less than half an hour."

He goes to step away again.

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For just the briefest moments, Cain is fully prepared for the fight boiling in his veins and pressing behind his eyelids. He's frustrated beyond belief, and angered in full measure by the unfairness of life after Azkadellia's possession. Life isn't supposed to be about choosing the lesser of two evils.

But then Glitch gets stuck on repeat. And Cain knows with the certainty of irrefutable fact that he's responsible. He found a nerve and pushed it too hard. Again.

When Glitch comes back round, Cain takes hold of his upper arms, and looks him in the eyes. "I know. I know you're scared, I'm scared too. We're all scared, Glitch.

"I'm sorry."

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Glicth pauses, trying to work out how Cain knew what he was about to say and comes to one irrefutable conclusion within seconds. "I glitched again, didn't I?"

His frustration and anger deflates, head hanging as he seems for a second to only be upright by the hands on his arms, though he doesn't buckle at all, nor need support standing up. "It's not your fault, Wyatt. It's not anyone's fault but that horrible witch and the bad people who did what she wanted and enjoyed it."

Yes, Cain is left facing his zipper as Glitch talks to his chest. "It's not your fault."

It's not a glitch. The tone is different. It's just normal repitition.

[less-hugging.livejournal.com]

Cain just nods, his brow furrowed in a rare show of emotion, as if the anger and frustration has etched itself into his skin, even if only for a little while.

"I know." He steps in, simply because he wants to, even if it means they're hugging each other in the courtyard; even if it means he'll feel the zipper on his skin.

"It's no one's fault but the witch's."

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Which is part of why Glitch doesn't want to look up; look and see that anger and frustration on Wyatt's face. His hands curl into the leather of Wyatt's coat, holding onto him while he keeps staring and he can feel the warmth of his skin flushing the metal to temporary comfort.

"I'm taking the processing. I've lived this long without clear memories. I don't need to always remember. I don't want to, but I can. I can't live with the stupid things. Like not being able to work out buttons. I'm still going to be a headcase but- it'll be better than it is."

Assuming they can reverse it and they wind up killing him... or worse.

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"It'll be better. You'll get new memories every day."

Assuming... No, trusting it's reversible. Believing the alchemists won't kill him.

He can't die. He can't die, because Cain won't let him. If he dies, Cain will kill him. First the alchemists, then Glitch, fair and square.

"I'll be there, if you want me to." He told Glitch he'd make the offer again, and it's a promise he's more than able to keep.

"Make sure the guys in robes know what's what."

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"I won't necessarily remember them, but I'll get them." Memory like swiss cheese, but he'll be able to think again. Maybe even access what he has better.

"I think I'd like that. They're... scheduling it in as soon as possible. Before there's any more deterioration. So they can put as much as possible back."

They wanted tomorrow. "Probably the day after tomorrow."

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How could he not be, when there's so much injustice in the Outer Zone; where once upon a time good people could always count on getting what they truly deserve. Might take some time, but they'd get it.

Maybe it's another figment of his imagination, a delusion brought on by too many years locked up and immobile and kept alive by a machine with nothing to watch but the end of life as you knew and loved it. He doesn't know. He isn't sure he wants to.

Silently, he looks back, searching for something unknown in Glitch's eyes. He can feel it, not put words to it; a tangible, elusive thing. He's said all he can, and yet it just doesn't feel like enough. It feels like too much all over again.

He shrugs, averting his eyes, taken by surprise by the chill flush of heat in the wake of the cold wind.

"I forget." His voice is soft, calm, but there's a warmth to it in spite of everything. "Sometimes I can't remember who I used to be. Suppose I forget because I can't fit myself into the memories. Could be worse," he echoes Glitch's statement.

"I could remember everything."

[amicably-absent.livejournal.com]

Glitch remembers a time when things were good, and just and honest and eventually fair. A balance of fate where the good came out on top and the bad got what they deserved and-

"What's now if not a resetting of that? The bad got what they deserved. And the good... maybe the good are working their way around to the same? It's been weeks, maybe it just takes a bit for fifteen years of darkness to start swinging back the other way, but it's getting there. It's started. Things are getting better. Look how far everything's come. A month ago, there was. No. Hope.

"And now... there's a future. And a chance to let the worst be gone. I agonised on if I wanted to know, and now... I don't have the choice. I have to accept it's gone and past."

Glitch smiles softly at Wyatt, the cold winds forgotten, clinging onto the other man's arms with his thin hands. "Could be worse. Has been."

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Cain listens...and listens...and wonders what it would take to shut his friend up when he goes talking at length. He wonders if he'd actually want to.

"It could be worse," he agrees, watching Glitch's smile with something approaching a smile of his own in his eyes.

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Glitch seems to be aware of something, showing on the other man's face, if not in his eyes. He cocks his head, smiling crookedly. "What...?"

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And Cain arches his eyebrows, returning the look, dawning skepticism in his eyes.

"You talk too much. We have a walk to get to, genius - we dawdle much longer, we're gonna get rooted to the spot."

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Glitch hit Cain in the arm. "Fine, fine. Come on." He slid an arm through Cain's - he always kept his footing better walking arm in arm with someone.

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Very elaborately rolling his eyes at the display of Glitch's rather more quirky ways of breaking convention, Cain falls into step beside him. It's a nice day for a walk, all things considered.

"You should consider yourself lucky I'm not a Tin Man anymore."

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If it's a break he cares for or even thought of, it doesn't show on his face. "Oh? And why is that, Wyatt? Am I breaking a law?"