(no subject)

[amicably_absent]

Glitch had been absent for two days.

Moreso than in the usual way, he had spent two days with the alchemists and medics and Raw, the comforting presence of his friend connecting him to the current problem.

They'd talked it over. Him, the alchemist and Ambrose. Except he and Ambrose didn't really talk, being as how he was Ambrose, except that he wasn't and that was really part of the problem, except when it wasn't.

It was enough to give anyone a headache.

He had asked them to give him time. To think about it. Everyone had agreed to give him his space and he had gone to think.

Thinking, as it turned out, meant sitting up on the railing of a balcony, looking over the O.Z. and finding that for once, he didn't glitch and forget.

The one time he wouldn't have minded it.

Comments

[less-hugging.livejournal.com]

"You're the smartest one out of all of us, Glitch. You just can't see it yet. DG told you that once, and I stick by it."

He pats his shoulders, stepping to the side and taking a look at their work. All nice, neat, no button skipped in the midst of things.

"I knew you had it in you, zipperhead. We're done. ...unless you want to undo them and start over on your own?"

[amicably-absent.livejournal.com]

The no skipping is probably a big thanks to Cain. Glitch wasn't allowed to lose his place. Like he normally would.

"No. Might be here all night if I start repeating actions and then I'll glitch and then who knows where I'll end up?" He throws up his arms in exasperation. "Honestly, some days, I don't know what to do with me. Where were we going?"

[less-hugging.livejournal.com]

"What, you think it's a piece of cake for the rest of us dealing with you?"

Another pat, and Cain jabs a thumb in the right direction. "Outside. Taking a walk nowhere in particular."

[amicably-absent.livejournal.com]

"I get frustrated with me, I can only imagine how you guys feel." He slides his hands into his new pockets and nods. "Yeah, outside sounds nice. I find inside so stuffy."

[less-hugging.livejournal.com]

And through some arcane magic or other, Cain's hand stays on Glitch's shoulder as they fall into step beside each other.

"We get frustrated because we care about you. It's...difficult, not knowing how much or how long you'll remember things. But we're dealing with it the best way we know how."

Even if it means being a bit obnoxious at times. Or downright grumpy. Stubborn.

[amicably-absent.livejournal.com]

"You think it's hard for you. You should try it from this end. But I feel better today. I think it's all the time in contact with-"

He goes quiet. "We finished the assessment today."

[less-hugging.livejournal.com]

"I don't think it's hard for me." He looks at Glitch squarely. "I know it is. First hand."

He shrugs. "But I can't imagine what it's like for you. Even trying would be stupid."

Glitch's change of mood makes him quiet down his next line of thought, quelling it before he could get worked up. Today is not a day for hot-headed banter.

"How did it go?"

[amicably-absent.livejournal.com]

"There's... damage. Expansion of the membranes from insufficient pressure maintainence in the tank. Some of the brain has unravelled, but they don't think it's affected us." Switching pronouns constantly, fluidly. Brain, us, him, it.

"The saturation levels have been changed. They can't reduce the compaction to normal levels." He knows Cain won't understand that. "They can only refit some of the brain. The rest will have to stay in the tank. I can have my long term and short term recollection repaired, or I can have the processing abilities of that side of my brain back. Memories or thoughts."

Remember and glitch. Forget and think.

[less-hugging.livejournal.com]

As Glitch talks, fancy scientific phrases mixed with layman's terms, Cain slows down; step by step. None of it makes any sense, and yet it fills him with the sense that he should have expected it. It's typical. There's never an easy way out, and there's no such thing as second chances.

Memories or thoughts.

"Hang on. So, you either keep your memories and get back what you've lost, or...you start with a clean slate?"

Both options fill him with ice water. He's going under, even if he isn't moving an inch anywhere but outside. Where there's sunshine and wild animals and the bustle and commotion of a land rebuilding itself through the hard work of its people.

Damn it.

[amicably-absent.livejournal.com]

"It's, they can complete my memory centres, which means I'll remember. Things. Everything, maybe, but I'll still glitch, badly. Have trouble thinking. Not be able to work things out. Or they complete the processors. There's some damage still, they can't promise a recovery, because my memories will still have big old holes in them, and I might forget things, even if I can work them out.

"But the glitches will lessen. I'll still be me. Remember, what I do now. I guess. I'll think better. Like I do after longer session with Ambrose, but I won't ever-"

He won't remember what he's lost. Except when he has a Viewer and the tank. No more memories than he currently has. But less glitching and better thoughts. "I told them I wanted to think. But I think I know what I want. What Glitch and Ambrose want."